A gifted individual is a quick and clever thinker, who is able to deal with complex matters. Autonomous, curious and passionate. A sensitive and emotionally rich person, living intensely. He or she enjoys being creative. -definition of giftedness written by the Netherlands Study on Giftedness in Adults

Sunday, March 11, 2012

But Your Child Has "Problems"

Note to the non-parents out there: This is, most definitely, NOT how to get on a mother's good side.

"...but your child has problems."

First of all, don't even go there until you've walked a mile... when you have children, I'd be willing to bet your child will have problems too. We all have them. I know no parent who doesn't have problems with their child. Even great parents. Even great children. It's a relationship fraught with "problems." And joy. And frustration. And grace. And tremendous, tremendous amounts of love - going both ways and all through it.

Secondly, my child's biggest problem is people like you. People who don't understand, and who expect mediocrity (oops, I mean "normal") because you don't know any better. My child will never be what you expect - because he isn't average. He isn't a cookie-cutter. He isn't a child who fits inside the little box that teachers (and yes, the person who said this to me was a TEACHER - not one that has ever had him in class, mind you) want their students to fit into so they are "easy to teach." And until people like you stop judging others for whatever perceived lacks you see in them, people like him are going to be misunderstood. What a tragedy, that those who are in charge of educating all these little minds feel so - challenged? threatened? intimidated? - by one that has so much promise. 

I can't even describe to you the feeling that puts in your stomach, when someone throws a dagger like that at your child. It's not the first time. It won't be the last. Somehow I have to pick myself up, dust off the negativity and move forward to what I know is possible. My child needs understanding, guidance, tolerance, and freedom to get there - and that's the world I want to surround him in. 

And that's what I will do. Because yes, I AM Mama Bear.


  1. I can COMPLETELY relate to this!

  2. Why is it that teachers always focus on the negatives?? I mean, what is that? What about the good things, the potential? I can worry about the problems, thank you. You worry about doing some good.

  3. I'm sorry to tell you that this tale will repeat itself all throughout a gifted child's life because he/she grows up to be a gifted adult. I'm now a PhD student but the insecurities of my instructors are unimaginable. Formal educational institutions are just not the places to be in for gifted people. It's hard to fight against 98% of the world. I try to just live my life true to myself and ignore those who don't and won't ever understand those who live a life of asynchrony.